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2006-7-3
I¡¯m sad now, I think, more exactly, I¡¯ve
been sad since last night after I read one University classmate¡¯s Blog about
Graduation Ceremony.
I missed it, the Graduation Ceremony; I
missed it, the last chance to meet all the friends in the University; I missed
it, the moment which was so touching that everybody felt so sad. They were and
they are reluctant to leave, I missed it; they were and they are crying
together, I missed it; they were and they are recalling the whole campus life, I
also missed it. How can I not be sad? This group is my college life truly
belongs to. It¡¯s remarkable and unforgettable.
I missed it. I prolonged my study for one
year, for the opportunity to do the overseas internship. I missed it. I¡¯ll
still stay in the university and study with those classmates who I am not
familiar with at all. I become strange again. I missed the train twice which I
should have taken for the further trip. The first time, I was so reluctant to
take it; the second time, I took it willingly and happily. Just yesterday, I
totally understood what I¡¯ve lost but I hadn¡¯t realized it yet. Yeah, how can
not be sad?!
I sent the SMS to several friends, they
responded to me in a different way. I know what I lost for sure will not be retrieved
again. Some would like to console me that you¡¯ve got something when you lost
something. And some told me you¡¯d lost something when you got something. These
two similar sentences express two way of thinking and tell one truth----we can¡¯t
always get two important gifts from God at the same time. The moment we get is
the moment we have to face the loss; vice versa.
I don¡¯t know how to express my present
feeling now. It¡¯s so complicated. But I know I have to be strong to keep going.
I am still not sure what will happen in my life, but just tell myself, continue
and try your best.
Just now, I just checked my email box and
read a new letter from Poland.
When I read it, I cried. I am not sure my crying is for the life I had in Poland or for the life I lost in China. I was
just so sad. The letter reminded me of so many scenes happened in Poland; the yesterday¡¯s friend¡¯s Blog reminded
me of the scenarios happened in China.
Yesterday the whole but not big family got together in Grandma¡¯s house. We made
the wonton together and had the supper and then played the badminton in the downstair
small playground where I spent my whole childhood with other playmates. At that
moment, I felt happy, for the family¡¯s good time together although my beloved
Grandpa passed away for almost 3 three years. Meanwhile, I was thinking about
my playmates in the childhood----where are they?
Everybody has to accept the changes in
everyone¡¯s life, that¡¯s the thing we have to spend all our life time in
learning. Life is continuing, anyway.
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